New year, new resolutions

To be honest,
2018 starts with struggles for me.

I thought I had the biggest battle before,
and I fought hard for it
But this time, I feel really hopeless.
I'm not sure if I could survive.

My current resolution, I just want to run, so far that i could be free from all of this.
I really hope I could do that but I know it is the most stupidest move or action I can do to resolve any of the issues.

Sometimes i feel, it is good that this life is some sort of movie or dream that I am able to woke up and get rid of it. But this is the reality.

The only way to get away from the real is die. But dying will affect everyone.
I don't want to be a burden even after I die. I want to go with peace and also left behind my family with nothing but good memory.

I know I have to face this with positive intention, but too much things scrambling my mind sometimes it distracted me from becoming positive. too much noise to care. I feel I can't take care of myself now.