The so-called friend ...

tomodachi no kerab

It happened early this year. A brother of my friend asked me to join his so-called friend club. Anyway, straight to the point… It’s one of the MLM businesses and since I came to KL, it’s really popular among my friends. Some gave me great and promising opinion and some told me it was trick and dangerous. I am not familiar with this because it’s not popular in my hometown anyway. I’ve heard about Uptrend, Amway, CNI and whatever it is during my schooldays but eventually they faded away. No one ever care about the MLM thing, and because maybe my hometown don’t really care about it anyway.

But, I feel so grateful today cuz I didn’t managed to get into the club. Y? I’ll explain but let me story it first. It was because of many factors. One of the things is that I’m not eligible to get personal loan. That’s the major hindrance but I still tried my best to join the club. And Along (brother of my friend) told me there is one way to join it but I have to find him 2 persons in order for me to be one of the members. And that 2 person must entitle the ‘C’ package which is worth of 40,000 Malaysian ringgits. I was like… aduyai! How am I getting the 2 people? Even if I managed to find them, it’s still unsure they will join as members.

And there was that day when I invited one of my longtime friends, Fanta. She is always eager in investing her money, therefore I asked her first. At last that night, Fanta and her friend willing to invest their money in. At first, it seems so smooth until Fanta told me she was not allowed to get personal loan anymore because of her banking problem. She was advised by the monetary personnel to cancel her loan. Aiyo! At that time, I was so down cuz I will never get the chance to gain any more people. Huhu! After Fanta and her friend cancelled their membership to the club, I didn’t looked for any people cuz I’m tired of saying the MLM thing over and over again. Malas lah! It’s not my thing anyway, and then I just let it be without any concern.

Until today my friend told me that members of the club had been arrested last night because of reporting made to the police over the club. I was a bit shocked anyway (Y? should be I was totally at shocked right…) because lately, I‘ve heard a news that a top member of the club had conducted fraud over the money last month. (Oic, that’s y I’m not really at shock today… kehkehkeh!). At that time I was really grateful not to be able to join the club.

Why am I desperate to join the so-called friend club anyway? It’s not like I want to be rich as fast as I can, but at that time my father has been hospitalized and I’m in need of some money to cover his bills. That time was really distressed since my former employer didn’t pay my salary on schedule, and I used most of my savings to cover the expenses. I was really fraught to increase my monthly cash and even thought to get part time job at night to support my living and my parents at hometown. It’s really hard and when the promising ‘opportunity’ like that come in front of me, I was intrigued to take it without realizes that it might snare my life in the future.

So in conclusion, don’t ever try new things if you’re unsure of it. At least you ask for various thoughts and based on that, it might help you to decide what the best thing for you. Your life is your own obligation and no one is allowed to interfere your rights in order for you to make a decision. I’ve learnt my lesson and perhaps what I said here could contribute something to anyone out there.

Signing off,

JS.

.....F.....

my recycle bin is always full

If it’s doing nothing is the easiest thing to do in this world, how could it still bothering me? I’ve think a lot about my life, and always searching for the tiny pieces in my puzzling mind, trying to solve and find out what are the things that I missed that can give such catastrophic event during my past, but often I couldn’t find it. Sometimes I always want to do the right thing so that everything going to be right all the way, but it’s not in my ability to control what could happen next.

People say “Practice makes perfect” but I couldn’t see any perfection on any practices that I’ve made before. I tried to make things not complicated, easy and simple as it is, but eventually it would end up composite and complex anyway. For example, if you need money, you have to get yourself employed and become a fully-dedicated employee. But at the end, you still not gotten any of it because of there are factors that makes the money you earn isn’t yours. Isn’t it complicated? You try to be a good person and a good son for example, but there are some factors that turned up things more puzzling and muddled such as shoddier relationship among your family, the struggle and conflict between you and your inner feelings, the martyr that you have to make in the decision to have such superior life like everyone else… Isn’t it complicated?

If this life is as easy as saying “Yeah, you should do A… Oww, nope. A isn’t right, you should do B anyway”, how wonderful is life you may say. But, no it’s not going to be simple, it’s definitely not getting easy like you can imagine. It’s not like you have a button that say “Clear the history” or “Clean the memory” or even “Fix the error”, that should give a light to a better solution, no it’s not going to happen. There is no silver bullet to any problems in this world. If there is, anyone of us can be like James Bond and ended up like the happily ever after stories. Life is problematical but God promises that every problems, there is solutions. How am I getting there….? No one knows…Even God wouldn’t say it; I have to find it myself. But how much longer I have to wait? It’s like craving for freedom and sovereignty. I have no answer, I have nothing and I have no one … All I have is guts!

Desperado...

cerita perempuan2 yg desperate... klaka tp bongok

No one ever so real for once in their life, for instance everyone is hypocrite about what they stood over themselves. Except when they got mad or something that made them sad, for sure the emotionality expression that takes one inside couldn’t be bare off. It may hold for some time but it won’t last longer.

The emotionality breakdown may lead someone get outraged. They do stupid things, abuse the situation around them and rebel as much as they could, just to get people’s attention towards them. Why human need other’s attention? Seems like, each and every one of us that live on this earth are desperate of it. Some may against my opinion, but without we all knowing, yes we are attention-seekers.

Maybe it’s overwhelming for others to be called as ‘desperate’ for attention, but yes we’re craving for it. Craving and desperate are not very much difference right (maybe it’s because I like to point out supa-dupa words to express my emotion… hyperbolic expression you may said).

Never mind, what’s the point I’m writing this bloody-shit-thingy here? All I can answer is, I don’t really know and I don’t really f*kcing care about what I’m going to write cuz it’s my blog anyway. Anyway, maybe this is one way of showing my desperado towards other’s attention. Writing something that people say so-called rubb*sh. HUAHUAHUAHUA….

Sign off before I get more desperate…..

Cinta ...

One of my all-time favorite song from Melly Goeslow. Enjoy!

Cinta

Artist: Melly Goeslaw

Menatap jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yg ku mau
Tempatkan aku pada satu
Peristiwa yang membuat hati lara

Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sendu matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akankah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita

Cinta tegarkan hatiku
Tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku berkata
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa

Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia

Cinta
Biar saja ada
Yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
Bagai manapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dengan ditinggalkan
Cinta

Kata kata kosong

Mencari pengertian hidup amat sulit bila perjalanan suatu kehidupan itu diselangi dengan onak-onak duri. Pencarian suatu kebahagian yang entah bila bisa ketemukan jika sekelip kegembiraan itu ditemani kesetiaan suatu kesedihan. Melihat potret-potret teman mengukir senyuman keriangan, mengundang suatu perasaan yang tak biasa aku ungkapkan. Mengapa di kala aku, seorang insan seperti jua mereka, hanya merasai manis yang sekejap cuma namun kedukaan hati jua yang tetap ku rasa. Aku hanya insan yang mahu bebas dari belenggu ini, namun jauh di sudut hati, setiap manusia ciptaan Illahi takkan lari dari dugaan untuk menguji ketabahan hati.

JS.